Why are men drawn to doing dumb (reckless, wild, crazy) things? And why are these primitive bahaviours attractive to females?
It relates back to the early days of man when we still had to do daring and adventurous things. Hunting with a spear or knife is incredibly dangerous, takes amazing amounts of stamina and athletic ability, intelligence and aggression. This example also works for warfare and fighting. Ever thought of walking onto a field and hitting another person with a sword who is also trying to hit you??
These weird behaviours were required for survival, if you didn’t have the aggression and skill to kill you would not be around for long. So I think this is what draws in mates as a trait that will help pass on genetics (providing for children and protection). The problem happens when these tendencies go too far or are not in line with social construct behaviours. IE, when a man hits a woman or does things so dumb that he needlessly puts his life or the life of others in danger.
The bottom line is that men that do dangerous or challenging things are rewarded with more mating opportunities (professional fighters, motorcycle racers, military men, etc., etc.). Females are subconsciously drawn to men who can bend the rules or push the envelope in doing activities which get things done (kill an animal, protect a tribe, etc.).
The dichotomy occurs when a these men are expected to be both nice and savage. The perfect balance between bad boy and family man. A man that is nice to women and family but will violently defend them. The problem is the hunters who go too far also end up hurting their tribes and while a certain amount of digression is understood, you are always walking the line. When a woman says, “he’s always nice to me” but then goes on to get thrown in jail. He clearly has not balanced the equation.
Therefore I propose the requirement to be daring and adventurous needs to be tempered with love and caution and that as men move from their early days of being a child, through being a warrior (teens, early twenties), on to being a chief (thirties – forties, fifties) and through an elder they would be wise to be as bold as they are caring.